Thursday, 19 December 2013

But what do all 41 mean?

OK, let's get something out of the way first...

Wakka-wakka-wakka Christmas, Wakka-wakka-wakka buy my book, Wakka-wakka-wakka perfect Christmas present, Wakka-wakka-wakka probably won't be delivered before Christmas though.

Phew, glad we don't have to do that again.

Some of you will know, if you follow The Chimping Dandy on Twitter at least, that as well as working on Volume Two of The Collected Chimping Dandy (which shall be called, The Pangolin Yodels),  I'm also trying semi-desperately to finish the first volume of the ten-book series that will eventually encompass the Edward Teach stories and all of their spin-offs.

To keep myself honest, and maybe promote some interest in the Twitterverse, Since about June, I've been tweeting a context-free line every time I manage to write more than 700 words in one day and I wondered, on the way into work this morning, if they would make sense if I bunged them together in order, so here goes:


  1. Try it metal-mouth and you’ll be sucking your next recharge from the end of my boot.
  2. absolute primogeniture
  3. Can any of you dogs tell me why we aren't all dead six times over?
  4. Kill field engaged
  5. the transgressors were summarily recycled
  6. Excellency, I am a singular entity, with five hundred and twelve extremities
  7. We heard them screaming and screaming. Then the screams got quieter, and then they were gone
  8. I would also appreciate it if the slug-throwers were warmed up, I think we might be on the verge of offending some people
  9. I’ve seen most of the Aligned Races naked at one point or another soldier, but none of them keep their faces down there.
  10. If the Cloud instructed you to wait whilst it passed you to an organic operator, then it was your time to worry.
  11. However, I would lose precisely no sleep whatsoever if you ended up floating face down in the river
  12. there were always preachers, trying to convince you that the only way to avoid eternal torment was to put a coin in the slot
  13. The taxi turned around in a large, languid circle, back towards the city, gently whistling cowboy tunes as it went
  14. and then he died, slowly and painfully, covered in sores, crying for his Mother.
  15. Oh yes, he had a bag full of credits that I used to buy drugs… The good kind.
  16. If you’d lie face down for me?
  17. She drew her finger almost all of the way out, altered the angle slightly and reinserted it,the breath caught in his throat
  18. 'Silver Nitrate,’ she remarked as she spat the taste from her mouth onto the deck, ‘You need saline and a topical painkiller'
  19. let’s put this old lady back in her bed and make a start on a slightly younger model.
  20. 'It’s replacing the…’ The construct’s diminutive sensor cluster waved slowly from side to side. ‘No, installing the…’
  21. I hope that they’re geared up for an election. Because they’re going to be needing a new Station Commander.
  22. The comestible in question was being used for a purpose for which it was not originally designed.
  23. That is hardcoded into my cortex, The Baron was most insistent that that be the case.
  24. If I were to inject a massive overload at this point, would that cause a cascade event?
  25. if you want a device that can capture the heart of a sun and use it to refrigerate your drink, I can do that
  26. Happy that he looked immaculate, he left his quarters and joined Barnes on the bridge.
  27. it rose from the surface of the water, growing steadily towards them until it was a hundred feet high
  28. With regret Excellency, we do not routinely check for things that are impossible.
  29. Now, can I just stop you there Doctor? I would like you to tell me something that I do… Not… Know.
  30. whose smile had lightened to that casual grin of a psychopath watching a bag of kittens drown.
  31. we have been able to use existing virus bomb technology to improve life rather than destroy it
  32. It seems that they enjoy the feeling of its low-frequency radiation on their… bodies.
  33. Well Buller was one of the men who procured them. He had his own ideas about quality control too.
  34. Nice to see that we’re all still alive. Oh! We seem to have lost one, will you be taking his place Ma’am?
  35. I am programmed to assume this position whenever I anticipate an extended period of local stress.
  36. The young guard turned, aimed the rocket launcher at the centre of the large metal doors, and pulled the trigger
  37. a brief tangle of mechanical legs as a number of Spiders tried, unsuccessfully, to move in two directions at once
  38. The nice lady from earlier, the one who accused you of all being murderers and rapists, is waving at you.
  39. He mimed the actions of bears dancing whilst swordfighting, but stopped when he realised that she wasn't watching.
  40. Confirmed, I will launch when the indicators are green, or when you start making sense, whichever is sooner.
  41. Look into having the construct responsible for traffic control re-purposed as a fertiliser dispersal unit will you?

Ah, it seems not, no... Bugger

Well, if they manage to pique your interest then I suppose they've done their job.  Just to let you know, I already have one advance order.  It's from a young gentleman called Archimedes, who like robots and pirates. (Well, I suppose, technically, that it's from his Dad.)

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