OK, so I've been putting off the Nickleback post - but seeing as the amount of people visiting the blog has plummeted since we had the 'Supreme Being' talk. It's obviously time that I got a bit more mainstream and started laying into the easy targets.
Nickleback are a bunch of guys from Canada who are presumably following the Canadian teenage boys dream of finding a job that doesn't involve chopping down majestic Larch & Redwood trees, not having to work as a Paul Bunyan impersonator, staying warm and not becoming an alcoholic (or is that Finland? - I always get the two confused) - Formed by the Kroeger brothers in the '90s as a covers band and going on to meteoric success, for instance becoming the second most popular foreign band in the USA (Second only to the Beatles my friends - Let's just take a moment to digest that - Second only to the Beatles!)
They've had a couple of inoffensive hits, 'How you remind me' was one of those songs that had a chorus that crowds of drunk girls sang about their boyfriends when they got together - And eveyone thought that the video to 'Rockstar' was funny and gave the people with a small amount of RAWK! knowledge a chance to go, 'That's that bloke out of Zed-Zed Top that is!' and people with more TV knowledge to say 'That's that girl's Dad out of Bones'.
But one of their songs that I do take issue with (If we discount all the album tracks that are about strippers, oral sex and getting drunk) is the one I have detailed the lyrics of below:
It's called 'If today was your last day'
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way'
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
(C) and all rights reserved Nickleback & Roadrunner Records blah-blah etc. etc.
Right - So far, so Meh! - But seriously, it's as if they just took a collection of fortune cookies, smashed them open with a hockey stick and wrote down the ensuing chaos in an exercise book - I'm reliably informed, though I haven't seen it myself that the video for the song details the journey of two young scamps with a bag full of 'Stuff' (Which I'm guessing we are supposed to think is contraband of some kind - So that we can have our misconceptions well and truly challenged at the end) that turns out to be small strips of paper with lines from the songs on them which they distribute to people and change the world for the better, the lion shall lie down with the lamb, black and white will sit side-by-side on piano keyboards etc - I wonder if these pieces of paper are the actual fortune cookie favours that helped them write the song in the first place? - In effect, the song is a Chinese meal with all the good bits taken out.
The worry is that people (mainly the hard of thinking) will take these as a deep, meaningful and genuine expressions of empowerment and not lazy, derivative claptrap.
But saying all that, They've sold 50,000,000 or so more examples of their work than I have - Maybe I should see if Simon Cowell wants to buy my completely original picture of some dogs playing poker?
* Yes, I realise that picking on Nickleback is lazy and derivative... You're stuck in a web of irony, didn't you know? - We'll get back to the funny stuff tomorrow when I've shifted this cold
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