A lot of you will know, mainly because I bang on about it all the time as if it's going out of fashion, that I call myself a writer.
I write... Books and stuff... Loads of them... All the time... Sometimes, when I get up to get myself a sandwich or something, I check the seat of my chair to make sure that I haven't accidentally laid another book about... Oh, I don't know, The Winiama dancers of Burkina Faso perhaps, or a children's story featuring Rodney the happy slug.
You can buy them from Amazon too, just go there and do a search for 'The Chimping Dandy' and you'll see them there all lined up in a row (or column, depending on your display settings and whether you're lying down)
Go do it now... You'll see all four of the three books I've written. (You should obviously buy them all whilst you're there, it's only polite)
Hey! Hang on a minute!
All four? of the three books?
Right at the end of the list you'll see a dainty tome called 'The James Josiah Flash Project Volume 1' - As written by the titular James Josiah. It says I wrote it to, but I didn't, it's a wicked lie! Although in fairness I did contribute a story to it, it's a kind of anthology you see... Never could get the hang of them myself.
But, that does bring us fairly neatly to the theme of today's post.
Author, Demagogue, Professional Penguin Impersonator & Brick-Wizard.
The thing is, he's only gone and wrote a book himself, and it's severely bloody marvellous.
Have you still got that Amazon window open? The one that you used to buy all my books? No? OK - Click on the link below to search Amazon for his books now.
Only the first three are his, those are the ones you should totally buy, right now... Maybe wait until pay-day. The two volumes of the James Josiah Flash Project should be in your collection already if you have a Kindle, you have no excuse not to have already bought those, they're, like 77p.
But the biggy, the cream of the crop, quite literally the top of the heap is 'Days of Madness'
|This is the Halloween promotional cover|
Yours won't be quite this brilliant
This all-new novel, charts a month in the life of Ryan Carmichael, a Systems Administrator for Finnister Solutions. (Who provide Clear Solutions for a Brighter Future) It's not a great month, all things considered. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that it makes Ryan question the very nature of reality.
Here, let me read you a random passage - Try reading it in the voice of Kevin Spacey, or Eddie Izzard if you think it will help you relax.
I’d been sat pondering for a good half hour before I realised I wasn’t wearing the same clothes as this morning. I went back to the kitchen and looked in the fridge; it was fully stocked with a load of healthy crap. I looked in the sink, the bowl was empty and the things from this morning had all been put away.
Now it was quite a clever gag, I had to hand it to him but we have a very fragile mental state at the minute.
Now isn’t the time to be pulling this shit.
After my heart had returned to its normal rate and my hands stopped shaking I fixed myself some tea, as in the evening meal not a cuppa. I had a grilled chicken breast with some pasta and the remains of the pesto. It was alright as far as healthy-ish food goes but I followed it with ice cream and beer . In my head this is a balanced diet, I’m sure that lady off the telly that likes looking at people’s poo would disagree.
I put the dirty plate, pot and grill tray in the dishwasher and went to lose myself online for the remainder of the day. As I sat at my desk I saw a post-it note on one of the monitor screens that read “You owe me a day”
Well I’m sorry old boy; it just isn’t going to work like that.
Josiah, James (2014-10-23). Days Of Madness (Kindle Locations 719-729). The Penguin's Head. Kindle Edition.
Isn't it great?
I'm not just saying that because this man gave me my first push into creative writing, or that I'm the Art Director of The Penguin's Head publishing, who published the book (And all of mine too) in the first place, or that I owe him £25.
And, I'm certainly not saying it because I designed the cover *cough*
I'm saying it because it's a great book, that handles mental health issues with a huge amount of sensitivity and dark humour. It takes a serious subject and does the best possible job of turning it into a genuine page-turner, with fully fleshed-out characters and a multi-faceted story that will keep you intrigued until well after the story has concluded.
Look, I could go on like this all day, but at the end of it, you'd be best to just buy this book and enjoy it for yourself then go and leave a review on Amazon, or Goodreads, or write a blog about it.
It's this sort of thing that provides new writers with the encouragement that they need to keep writing.
Be a part of that - It'll make you feel better, honest.