Blogging Blues

(Sung to the tune of every Blues song ever)


Well, ah woke up this mornin',

an' ah couldn't think what to Blog.

Ah say ah woke up this mornin'

an' ah couldn't think what to Blog.

Then ah, got inta work,

and ideas weren't quite as forthcoming as I initially would have wished.


You see, that's the problem with setting yourself unrealistic targets. When I started this Blog, I said to myself;

'Dandy, you're a funny guy - people say it so it must be true, why don't you spend an hour or so each day, writing down funny stuff to make people snigger whilst they're walking their dogs or on the bus or having their lunch somewhere where you're not supposed to bring your own food?'

It's given me a chance to think about some of the, well, quite frankly unbelievable stuff that's happened to me over the past *cough* too many *cough* years. You've had tales of personal injury, idiocy, idolatry, isolationism, irradiation, irony, ineptness, infringement of animal rights and eyes (See what I did there?) and I hope you've enjoyed them.

But I have to apologise, I can't think of a single, solitary funny thing to write about today. Mind you, I think you've done well, you've had something pretty much every day for the past three months, barring work commitments and Janet Street-Porter.

I'm sure normal service will be resumed tomorrow - In fact, I'll probably think of something the second I publish this, kind of like a humourous l'esprit de l'escalier (a French phrase that means thinking of a witty comeback just too late - Literally 'Staircase Wit' - Isn't this Blog a wonderful learning experience? - I should work for the DfE - I wouldn't have shut all the local schools because of the snow so quickly I can tell you!)

In fact, thinking about it, foreign languages have a lot of words that we don't have direct translations for, for instance:

The German words Kummerspeck, which means the excess weight you put on when you're depressed (Grief fat), and Waldeinsamkeit, the feeling you get when you're alone in the woods.

The Japanese use the words Bakku-shan to describe a young lady who is very attractive, but only when viewed from behind, and Arigata-meiwaku, which is when you are forced to feel thankful for someone who has done you what they think is a favour, even though you really didn't want them to, but they did it anyway and then screwed it up and caused you more trouble.

Anywho, there are a bucketload more of these floating around the Interweb, have a search for them - Maybe you could use the time that you would normally spend reading this Blog.

See you tomorrow, hopefully I'll have thought of something by then.